Life is Good. That's all.

I don't have a poem this time. No cry for help in this blog post mom haha 

I was just sitting here on the couch in my apartment, listening to music and I realized that I am excited to see my family in a couple weeks when I graduate. Because I AM GRADUATING. I will be an alumna of Brigham Young University in 17 short days. 

I've been avoiding thinking about my graduation. The truth is I don't want to be done with BYU. I love BYU. It has helped me grow in more ways than I'm sure I realize. But if I could stay here forever...I wouldn't.

 The motto for BYU is- 

Enter to Learn, Go Forth to Serve. 

Once upon a time I was going to go to Lugazi, Uganda to serve the people there. I was excited and couldn't wait for the wonderful experiences I would have. I was sure the trip to Africa was going to change my life. Before I was supposed to leave I started a blog so that the people who had given me financial support could see the results of their generous (and thoughtful) donations. I wrote the following statements on that blog, and two years later I read them again:

If you have a dream, go get it now. Life is about living. So live. Now by that I don't mean go party and do stupid things that could possibly end in death or some sort of liver disease. That's not living. Living is about serving. Service is what truly makes us feel like we are living up to our potential. We are always told that we need to have charity, which is the pure love of Christ. Well, that is Service. And service is Love. And love is Living. 

And that is why I want to go to Africa. To serve the people there. To love the people there. And to live and help others live.

View from my apartment at Stratford Court

I was sad when I realized I couldn't go to Africa. I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep, wishing I was in Africa rather than where I was. One night as I was doing my usual crying "woe is me" ritual I had a thought that changed my attitude. I thought, how ironic (not sure if this is a correct use of the term 'ironic'), that I am sitting on my bed wishing I was in Africa, when so many of those children would give anything to be here, where I am, having the opportunities that I have. How selfish of me to waste time being ungrateful. Those children in Africa are happy and enjoy their life, regardless of their circumstances. How pitifully first-world selfish I was being. I realized that I was wasting an opportunity that most of those kids would never get. The simple opportunity to appreciate the wonderful feeling that only comes from sleeping in a warm bed every night and the chance to drink clean water everyday. I'm not kidding. The simple things I took for granted I realized in that instant were wonderful gifts from my Heavenly Father. I never got to go to Africa, but even from thousands of miles away those kids changed my perspective on life. 

So when I leave BYU I will not waste my time by wishing I was somewhere other than where I am. I will thank the Lord for the wonderful experiences I had and then I will look forward, and I will live everyday. Because life is not what happened yesterday, or what might happen tomorrow, life is right now. Your life is this moment. So the answer to the question, will I end up happy? is found in how you live every moment. And so, even though change affects me in ways that I can't fully explain, I will be happy regardless of what trials I face in life.

Walking up the basement stairs of the JFSB

 I love BYU and am extremely grateful to the Lord for giving me the wonderful opportunity to gain a college degree, so wonderful in fact that according to the Huffington Post in 2010 only 6.7% of the world's population has that same opportunity.